Goativations

Now that I am learning to co-exist with my competitive parts biting me for not being able to take the goat down in all things, I decided to suck it up and join him at his game. He is, after all, a great coach when it comes right down to it, helping me to reach beyond my fears and literally TRI.

A few months ago The Goat signed us up for the Utah Summer Games Triathlon @ Sandhollow Reservoir. I thought by the time the race day came around I would have enlisted at least one family member or friend to join me in this quest. I tried my best but was unable to find one single willing participant. I had survived and finished this event three years prior, but for some reason I felt more afraid of it this time. Perhaps the fact that about twenty people had told me no way and acted like I was insane when I invited them to join me, began to eat at me. When I came down with the flu four days before the race, had a baby not sleeping much at all, had a pool full of puppies in my living room, not to mention other assorted chaos, I began to agree with all my friends and family, that maybe I was indeed, out of my freaking mind.

When The Goat became concerned that he was not feeling well, and I was sick, and the race was coming up in a few days, I started to write it off, thinking maybe we would not do it at all. But as the time grew closer, things began to clear up, and The Goat’s encouragement and confidence came back to the playing field. “Your mom is coming all the way down here to babysit, and now you aren’t going to do it? Are you going to go to your family BBQ and tell them you backed out at the last minute? You’ve been riding your bike a lot pulling the Burley; you can do it. I spent $70 for you to do that race!” He baaahhhed………like a Billy Goat.

I tried to control the anxiety, but it was driving me crazy. I couldn’t sleep the night before. When the morning came and we had to leave @ 5:30AM, I felt like puking, not because I was sick but because I was so nervous. The Goat was laughing at me and tried to tell me a silly old story, but I couldn’t hear it. I just stared into the dawn wondering how in the hell I could feel so messed up inside over something I really did want to finish. That’s when I looked at him and asked him, “Why do you like to do this?!!” He said, “I need a source of motivation to work out and get in good shape.” And I said…. “So if you didn’t require a specific source of motivation to work out daily, would you still want to do this?” He said….”Maybe I wouldn’t.” Then I said….”Do you like PAIN?” He said…. “I guess I do.” And I said… “Well, I can help you out with that one.” At this point of the morning I had forgotten that feeling that comes after finishing a triathlon. My fear had taken away my memories.

Once we got to the reservoir, The Goat said he wanted to wait for me after the swim and do the big hill and run with me, but I told him no way. He did that last time, and I did not like him doing that at all. I told him to stay with the guy pack and I would do it myself in the girl pack. I meant it. For once, he listened to me, and in the end did a great job, winning 2nd in his age division!

Once I got in the water and started the swim, I realized I wasn’t afraid anymore and I just stayed calm and steady through each milestone. I wasn’t going fast for sure, but I never stopped swimming the .25 mile. When I got to my bike and put on my bike shoes and helmet and took off, I felt great. I even found out I can go over a cattle guard on a road bike if I have to. I almost panicked when I saw there was no board over it on the way up the big hill, but I had no time to hesitate unless I wanted to crash and I didn’t. My easy gear kept popping out on the big hill, and I ultimately had to hold it down to make it stop. It was sprinkling rain the whole 14 miles, and it was actually really nice except a little slippery. After I made it off the bike and changed into my running shoes, I realized I felt fine and knew for sure I would finish without any problems, steady and slow, but consistent and paced. That’s where The Goat greeted me and wanted to run the 3 miles with me, and I let him for few minutes before I told him to go back and rest and I’d finish this one out myself and see him afterwards. He snagged a kiss and said “Good job.” I found a slow steady pace next to another lady, and we plodded along and didn’t stop running until after we crossed the finish line. And of course, there was The Goat snapping a picture with his camera phone, cheering me on, telling me good job.

It was a wonderful feeling to not succumb to the fear that held me in its clenches just hours earlier. I had a rush of energy that consumed me even after a 2 hour work out. It was at this time that I remembered why I wanted to do the race, and I felt content with myself for not giving up and for allowing myself the chance to prove my freak out fears wrong. The Goat announced to me that he had just found out he had won a medal, and he said he didn’t even expect it. He was called up and got his medal, and as a whole the overcast day was nothing but sun shine. It was great! My bike even waited until after the race to get a flat tire! Amazing!

So, this post is a lot about me and my experience doing the USG triathlon, but it’s really about The Goat because without his coaching and encouragement the fear monsters would have eaten me. Good job Goat! You did a great job @ the race, and you did a great job reminding me I have to at least TRI !

Let this inspire all those who have been eaten by the fear monsters. :)